Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Cheeburger Cheeburger? No. No.

As I couch surf my way around the fine metropolis of Jersey City I have been subjected to some things that have made my blood boil. I have a great deal of pride in my adopted hometown of Chicago and I tend to get a little defensive about her. I understand that I need to adjust to some new things but a few of them have been more difficult than others. An absence of Italian Beef is particularly disheartening, flat greasy pizza is equally troubling.None of these experiences rankled me more than learning of the existence of a burger place called Cheeburger Cheeburger.

I was watching the YES Network (whose horrors will probably be a subject for a post in the future) and an ad for this wonderful burger joint came on the screen. The second I heard the name I wanted to storm down to the nearest location and set it ablaze. There can only be one "Cheeburger Cheeburger" and it sure as hell doesn't come from some chain in New York. It comes from the Billy Goat Tavern in Chicago. That's it, that's the list. 

Sure, everyone loved the skit on SNL back in the day. I even understand why someone would be tempted to name a place Cheeburger Cheeburger. If the skit wasn't based on an actual location I think I would even give them a pass. Before I decided to unload on them I did a little due diligence and looked at their website. Maybe, just maybe the place would have an iota of the character of the Billy Goat.Wrong again idiot. It's a Fudrucker's rip off. That's it. 

There are no pitchers whether they be on the walls or of beer. There is no double chee, the best. There is certainly no VIP room or pictures of Royko on the wall. This chain bastardized the tag line that made the Billy Goat famous without taking anything away from what actually makes the Goat so damn great. I bet this has been very successful for them as well. I bet a bunch of morons go out of their way to hit up Cheeburger Cheeburger because it brings back fond memories of the SNL skit, and it's not there fault. They've been duped by a clever marketing man who has no respect for history. The creator of this abysmal chain should be hit in the face with a bat and dragged down to the bowels of Michigan Avenue to experience the real thing. And when they try to order fries with their burger I hope they bring down the full wrath of the Sianis family upon themselves.

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